Wordless Wednesday Conclusion: The Final Product

Wordless Wednesday Hand-(mine)Crafted Costumes

Mr. Parker, Mr. Stone, You Have Done it Again

When done correctly, satire is the most powerful comedic tool in the universe.  It is the Death Star of comedy, able to lay waste to all other forms with a single well-focused attack.  Now imagine that the Rebel Alliance had never destroyed the Death Star...or the second, not as aesthetically pleasing but still fully operational Death Star.  Imagine that it had been allowed to "position itself" all over the galaxy and crush any hint of rebellion in its tracks.  Such a reign would be terrifying, but since we are talking about satire here, it would be hilarious...terrifyingly hilarious.

I have been a long time fan of South Park.  Sure, at first it was just how crude both the paper cut out style animation and jokes were.  As the years went on, however, the razor sharp edge of the show's humor sliced through all sorts of topic that were previously considered taboo.  Whether it be religion, racism, disabilities or comedy itself, nobody has escaped the rapier wit and ruthless criticism of South Park's creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

And that is really the key.  If they made fun of only the people that disagreed with their social, political or personal views, their satire would be just plain mean.  But the genius of South Park's humor comes from the fact that they think that we are all ridiculous idiots and somehow manage to make us realize that they are right, we all suck.  To top it all off, they turn the microscope of their satire inward occasionally and admit their own shortcomings.

In their latest episode, South Park poked fun at obesity, our obsession with shows like Honey Boo Boo (my favorite moment coming when they point out that it is on The Learning Channel) and James Cameron's love of himself.  In doing so, they pointed out that the bar had sunk to an all time low.  That was, in fact, what James Cameron had dove into the depths of the ocean to try and find.  Once the bar was discovered, they suggested that South Park itself might bear some of the responsibility.  They managed yet again to make fun of everybody, including themselves with a distinct start-to-finish story line, not just random jokes.

That is how satire is done.  Take notes, Family Guy.

Guess What We're Doing Tomorrow

I have had a busy weekend without much time for posting, but you all need at least a quick heads up before tomorrow arrives or I could not forgive myself.

What do you need a heads up about?  Well, tomorrow is September 25th.  And it's a Tuesday.  What happens on Tuesdays?  Movies get released on DVD.  And even though I haven't had time to update the weekly features and what's to come for the week yet, I have just enough time to squeeze in this post alerting you that tomorrow will mark the release of...

The Avengers

on DVD

and BluRay

Go out and pick it up, true believers.  I, for one, have a whole day to watch the special features and what not tomorrow.  I'll let you know what I think of them when I'm done.

Ignorance is Bliss, then Facebook Ruins It

As I published hear a few weeks ago, the Transformer Generation Dad Retro-Gaming Museum (TGDRGM) is up and running (and accepting donations).  I have collected several old systems of mine, pooled the cartridge collections of any friends and family that were willing to contribute and constructed an impressive library of titles that you can play on their original systems.

There is also a rumor that I am in possession of an old Xbox that has been converted to play thousands of video games from retro systems including old stand-up arcade consoles.  While this would make the TGDRGM even more impressive, this is only an urban legend (I wrote so here myself).  Regardless of the awesomeness of the TGDRGM, I was well aware of just how many consoles and games were missing from my museum.  Collecting every video game ever made would be a near impossibility, but I was pleased with what I had managed to assemble.

Then someone sent me this picture that they found on Facebook...

I cannot attribute this behemoth to anyone as its origins are a mystery to me

...and I hung my head in shame.  Here it was, the ultimate goal, the unreachable ideal I held in my head of what a retro-gaming museum might look like, the shrine to gaming history that I thought could never be achieved and someone had actually created it.  More importantly, that someone was not me.

Anyone Who Enjoys Lego or Marble Runs Should Take a Look at This. In Other Words, Everyone Pay Attention!

While taking a look at The Brothers Brick blog, I stumbled upon this absolutely amazing, spectacular, mind-blowing...you know what, I'm going to run out of adjectives and adverbs before I can do it justice, so just go ahead and watch the video.  You're going to want to watch the full seven minutes, trust me.  It keeps getting better.



Shhhh, no words.  Let's just enjoy the fact that our worlds are now a little brighter.

My Sincerest (Hypothetical) Gratitude

Transformer Generation Dad's Retro-Gaming Museum (TGDRGM) has been up and running for a few weeks now with rave reviews.  All visitors (yes, all eight) to the TGDRGM have been wowed by the selection of titles from yesteryear and the authentic retro-gaming experience it provides.  If you recall, the TGDRGM is even accepting donations.  Click this link to find out how to make yourself one of TGD's most favoritest of all readers by donating your old game cartridges today.

If there is one thing that we here at Transformer Generation Dad take more seriously than retro video games, it is anti-piracy laws.  Which is a real shame because I hear through underground channels that one can, if one were so inclined, procure an old Xbox console and outfit it with hundred if not thousands of retro video game emulators from various systems.

Of course, I cannot speak as to whether or not this can actually be done because I will never admit to having seen it first hand.  At this point let us just consider the possibility that it might just be an urban legend (an extremely geeky one at that) and that none of us will ever know if it can truly happen.  Thus, we can discuss the awesome potential of such an outfitted system in hypothetical terms.  Let the parenthetical comments commence.

TGD Review: PvZ Pinball

My sons and I are nuts about Plants vs. Zombies as I'm pretty sure 90% of the gaming population is.  So when I heard that there was going to be a Plants vs. Zombies table on Zen Pinball 2 (or FX Pinball 2 on the Xbox) I knew I would be downloading it on the first day it was made available on Xbox Live.

I stayed true to my word and last Wednesday, disappointingly one day after it was released on the Play Station Network, I spent 240 Xbox points and made it my own.  Nearly a week after playing it daily, I review it here for you.

TGD is Now Accepting Donations

With my Retro-Gaming Museum now fully functional (and fully awesome!), we here at Transformer Generation Dad just cannot get enough of the old school majesty that was.  My sons have held still to date for several history lessons and have even come to accept the realization that learning their times table via the Atari 2600 is a better option than flashcards.

Now I turn to my loyal readers for help.

Sure, I have collected a good number of classic video games, spanning five different consoles (Atari 2600, NES, SNES, N64 & Gamecube), but for history's sake I am constantly looking to amass even more titles.  I may even be willing to gather some other as yet unrepresented consoles.

Do you have any games you are looking to get rid of?  Would it pain you to think they may end up in a landfill?  How environmentally responsible of you.  Are you hoping to send them to a good home where they can be repurposed for the education of our youth, that they might learn to appreciate the games you used to play as a child?  Are you eager for your old game cartridges to be fired up again for the sake of enlightening future generations of their gaming roots?

The Transformer Generation Dad Retro-Gaming Museum (TGDRGM...yes, that is the official name henceforward) would be happy to accept your donation.  Let us dust off those cartridges, blow gently across their contact surfaces and install them in their rightful place: the reception port of their intended functioning consoles and the halls of gaming history.

Your donation would be greatly appreciated.  While the TGDRGM is not considered a charitable institution (yet), you will receive for your donation our undying gratitude and the promise that, if you are ever in our neck of the woods you might have the honor of watching your cartridge live the remainder of its golden years in a happy home and even partake of a few beers from the nearby fridge.  Who knows, if you donate a significant number of cartridges, perhaps a TGD t-shirt might be in order.  If you are interested, feel free to email me at madcap1417@gmail.com and I would be happy to discuss the details regarding how to donate your piece of gaming history with you.

Here's to we gaming geeks working together to keep our history intact.  Do it for the children...in all of us...but especially in me.

The Secrets of My Man Cave

Living in a family with two growing boys, space in our home is already at a premium.  Thus, when the early onset of middle age came nipping at the back of my neck and caused me to desire a man cave of my own, I naturally thought outside the box.  By "the box" I mean our house because it is rather shaped like a box.  The unpredictability of Chicago weather caused me to scratch off the tent possibility and that left me with either the back of the minivan since we have pretty much removed the middle row of seats permanently (pay attention, this will be relevant later...oooh, foreshadowing) or the garage.  So, into the garage I went.

After clearing space of all things hoarded, I assessed the remaining half of the garage and imagined how I might use the space.  The one thing I had known for some time the cave must include was a collection of retro video games.  I procured my old systems dating back to my childhood and gathered as many games as I could.  The result was a functioning NES, Super NES, Nintendo 64, Gamecube and, the flagship of the museum (because that's what I considered it, a museum to the history of gaming) my old Atari 2600 as well as several boxes full of game cartridges.  I also took back an old 32-inch tube television from my brother-in-law, which was much heavier than I ever remembered it being, and received an old 20-inch tube TV from my parents.  I then found the original DVD player and found that both that and my old college stereo were still working like champs.  Things were shaping up nicely.

The problem that I faced was a lack of shelving to display my old video games.  I imagined those slick looking metal shelving units you see in the Sears tool catalogs lining my garage walls.  You know, the ones with the exposed riveting and the textured shelves that make your testosterone levels sky rocket just looking at them.  Yes, your testosterone levels too ladies, that's how manly they are.  This was pondered for about a minute, then I came to my senses.  Such a major overhaul costs a pretty penny and I was short on money.  The money I did have could certainly not be earmarked for man cave renovations.

So, my eye became more analytical.  I started searching for possibilities where others might not see them.  I scrounged.  I considered all things old and discarded that could find both new life and purpose in a new place, like a washed up Cubs' pitching prospect traded to another team.

That was when I noticed the old beat up under the garage patio's overhanging roof.  They stood there patiently holding my sons' long overlooked outdoor toys.  Buckets and sand shovels, wooden blocks and dry-rotted water guns were removed from them and I quickly found the perfect space for them to fit in.  They would do nicely, but they were in terrible shape.

That's when a stroke of genius hit me: Duct tape.

About Last Night...

While I was frantically typing a post regarding Lego team-ups last night to get something done while it was technically still Friday, a post existed on another fabulous blog.  A bit of research would have easily led me to discover it and thus bolstered the credibility of my rantings (not that credibility has ever been something I cared about).

It takes a big man to admit he's made a mistake.  I happen to wear size 14 shoes (you know what they say about a guy with big shoes?...big feet) so I suppose that qualifies me as being rather large and gives me the ability to admit my lack of preparation and try to make it up to you now.

In last night's post, I referenced "rumor" that a Lego Lord of the Rings video game was being developed.  Little did I know in my haste that not one but two different trailers for said game had actually been posted earlier in the same day over at the Brothers Brick.  I link to them below for your enjoyment.

Two Great Things That Go Great Together

It doesn't happen very often, but every now and then, Lego makes a product I'm not entirely excited about.

Take, for instance, the whole line of Ninjago sets.  I readily accept that they are popular.  They continue producing sets, adding new ninjas (or the same ninjas in new outfits) and have a successful cartoon based upon them currently on television.  When the minifigures were first released and it looked to be more of a card/role-playing game where you could construct your own ninja weaponry, I thought it had potential.  Fast forward several months to ninja jets, tanks and motorcycles and you've lost me.

Occasional flops aside, Lego does a pretty stellar job of choosing wisely which products make it to the toy store shelves.  Today, while checking out the Lego CUUSOO site for the first time in a while, I was reminded of just how savvy the world's greatest toy company is at selecting other franchises with which to affiliate itself.

Lego Star Wars might very well be the greatest sequence of three words every uttered.  The sets are phenomenal with all the overwhelming down-to-the-last-detail of the original Star Wars toys from the seventies and eighties (remember thinking "Was that character even in the movie?" when you saw the blister pack with the action figure on the rack and always finding out that, yes, he was in the movie?).  The video games have been some of the best produced I have ever seen, not to mention the closest things you can get to actually playing through the two trilogies.  They even make Episodes I-III relevant.

The Lego superhero lines have also been a success.  The DC versions are heavy on Batman, but I'm not complaining (stick with the date that brought you to the dance, I say).  The Marvel sets have some of the best minifigures in recent memory.  I'm waiting for the Lego Avengers video game to be developed.

Lego Lord of the Rings sets have already hit the stores and each trip I make to Target allows me to claim I'm letting my sons take a stroll through the toy aisle when really I just want another opportunity to linger in front of the Battle of Helm's Deep (#9474) set for a few moments and drool.  I secretly wonder if there is a handle on the Gimli minifig so that minifig Aragorn can throw him at the Uruk-hai.  Speaking of waiting for a video game, I've heard rumor this one is already in the works (fingers crossed).

And today I realized that the long awaited Lego Minecraft Micro-world set has already been released.  When I first heard about this, I thought it was a great idea, but my sons and I had not had the luxury of becoming completely and hopelessly addicted to Minecraft yet.  Now that we have traveled down that very shaft in what has resulted in a much more indoor summer than I originally planned, we are all just waiting for the set to become available again.  Wouldn't you know, it's sold out.

Overall, Lego has their stuff together when it comes to choosing their relationships.  They pick winners to collaborate with.  In fact I believe that Lego's official press release regarding such projects reads something like, "We are awesome and we know it.  Still we recognize that there are other awesome things out there and if you want to make sweet corporate love with us and see what our offspring look like, give us a call."

Of course, I'm sure that while every company with any kind of toy product out there is salivating over the chance to get in Lego's corporate pants (I know the anology is getting a little racy, but stay with me, I'm almost done), it must be pretty intimidating to think you might have a shot with the brick giant.  Which is why the rest of the statement reads, "But, again, we know just how awesome we are, so if you think you can hang, hot shot, you had better be sure that you are awesome.  And we don't just mean awesome, we mean really f***ing awesome."

Of course, I'm paraphrasing, but you get the picture.

A Happy Day Indeed

The past two months have seen fewer posts here at Transformer Generation Dad.  My work schedule has been hectic and add to that the fact that I have taken on the intense responsibility of coaching my sons' pee-wee baseball team and you get one blogger with a serious lack of free time.


Then came Fathers Day.  A day when dads around the world open boxes to find Star Wars ties, get served their favorite meals, watch (or play for the lucky ones) golf and lie in their hammocks.  It's an all around day for dads to do what they want.


During the pre-game warm-ups, if you will, I anticipated that I might squeeze in a little writing time some time after accepting the hand drawn cards and scarfing down my breakfast in bed and some time before having to go to work that night (let's hear it, "Awwwww, poor me").  I had even tried to conjure up a few different themes to discuss.  The day was all set to be lazily spent on my bed with equal parts television remote, laptop and video game controller at my fingertips.  Yes, I am easy to please.


But it didn't take long for those plans to change.  Soon enough, my sons insisted on sitting on the bed beside me as we took in G4's marathon showing of the Top 100 Video Games of All Time.  That, in turn, led me to stare at their little faces and bear witness yet again to their reverence for all that is gaming.  It is times like these when my worries over raising them properly are dispelled.  I realize that I have instilled in my boys a true and undying passion for all that which is awesome.  They are developing into tiny versions of me personality-wise and for at least a day I allowed that to not terrify me.


I felt inspired to connect with my sons even more.  After all, this devotion to their craft didn't come from spending time writing while they wasted the hours by themselves in front of the television in the basement, controllers in hand.  No, I have been right alongside them with a controller in my own hand for many of those hours.  It is I who have provided the guiding light through the most challenging of levels.  Haven't you noticed the giant orange banner at the top of this page?


And so, witty commentary and weekly features be damned, the majority of the rest of the day (after finding out which game was, predictably, number one) we played video games together.  To be specific, we played number 67.


Here's to all the dads out there, including my own.  I hope that each and every one of you spent the day soaking in all that is the joy of parenthood.

Assembling the Avengers

My youngest son's birthday saw him receive the full compliment of Lego Marvel Super Heroes sets based on the Avengers film.  He was extremely happy, but not quite as happy as I was.


Over the several days following, we began assembling the sets together.  The minifigures themselves are most certainly the prize of the sets, Iron Man's mask flipping open, Cap's shield, a mini-Mjolnir for Thor to carry as his flowing golden locks frame his bearded face and the oversized Hulk figure make the sets worth it on their own.  But during the completion of one set in particular, I discovered the sort of nugget of insight that makes obsessive nerds smile on the inside with glee.


Below is our finished set of #6868 Hulk's Helicarrier Breakout:

At this point, I must throw a quick warning out there.  SPOILER ALERT: the references to be made below this point in this post reference events from the Avengers movie.  If you are so lame that you have not seen it yet and want everything to come as a surprise, then do not read further.

Now Anarchists Take Over

This weekend, my beloved city of Chicago will see numerous world leaders and far more protestors descend upon it, each hoping to achieve their agenda.  But for those of us caught in the crossfire, things can get awfully inconvenient.


Enter the wisdom of the comic shop owner.

I happened to be passing by my local comic shop the other evening, happened to have my good camera in the car with me, happened to be at a stoplight and saw his message to those in town for the festivities and wanted to share it.


Good luck to any of you in Chicago this weekend.

Action Figures, Assemble!

Back before The Avengers were in the coolest movie since Star Wars, yours truly already had an obsession with them.  That obsession manifested itself as I began collecting memorabilia whenever I could sneak some in the house.


I was subscribing to the comic books, slowly "accidentally" breaking the stylish glassware from our cabinets and replacing them with Marvel character tumblers and buying action figures here and there under the guise that they were for my sons.  Needless to say, I was prepared to have my sons supplied with plenty of Avengers swag before any of their friends realized how awesome it was.


But the prize items in my collection stayed on the shelf in my office, out of their reach.  The flagship of my Avengers love, although un-boxed (because I can't help myself) remained in mint condition where my sons knew they dare not reach lest they invoke my wrath.  Thanks to eBay and a few closing toy store who knew not what they had in stock, I have managed to collect the four major characters from the film in 12-inch legendary action figure form over the years and I reveal them to you now, posed in my best attempt to recreate the movie poster:

Yes, I know.  Drink it in and be not jealous, true believers.  Assembling such a mighty group was no simple task.


Even more difficult has been keeping it from the hands of my sons and I have finally broken down and allowed them to play with them in an effort to cultivate their love of all things Marvel.  But the rules have allowed no friends to touch them and no smashing them against anything.  Also, they are to wipe them down with a damp cloth and mild soap after each session.


Most importantly, I always get dibs on Captain America.

TGD Movie Review: The Avengers

from Marvel.com

I'll begin by telling you, if you didn't know already, that I have been looking forward to The Avengers for years.  So much so, in fact, that I have already seen the movie twice within the first 24 hours of its US release, once last night at midnight with my wife and again this afternoon with our kids and a few of their friends in tow.


Of course, having seen it twice already, perhaps that gives me a unique perspective.  Or maybe I'm still just a fanboy.  Either way, I will get into the review and leave it for you to decide.

I Can Hold Out 5 More Days...Can't I?

Back in the second half of 2007, when the first trailers for Iron Man were made available for public consumption, the wheels in my head started turning.


"An Avengers movie is possible," I reasoned with my brother.  "They already did the Hulk (though they did a better one later) so if they can just make stand alone movies for Thor and Captain America, they are set.  A few other side characters (Giant Man and Wasp, I had originally reasoned) could be added into the storyline somewhere along the way."


Months later, I went to see Iron Man but had not expected the big reveal in the hidden scene after the credits.  I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, a superhero film with the human side to his alter-ego exposed and as I sat through the end credits, reveling in what my eyes had just taken in, a few words changed my entire world.


"I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative."


I gasped and flailed wildly for my wife's in the theater, not wanting to divert my attention from the screen lest some other mind blowing event might take place.


"Oh my God!  Did you hear that?  That mean's they're making an Avengers movie!" I nearly shouted.  At least that's what I tried to say, but the wheezing and gurgling that I emitted instead most likely left my wife thinking that I was having a synthetic butter flavoring induced stroke.


From that point on, I spoke about the possibilities of the impending Marvel mash-up at every opportunity I could find to squeeze it into a conversation.  I sought to educate interested moviegoers on which characters they might expect to see.  If someone was not a Marvel fan, I tried to show them the error of their ways.  I was a dedicated disciple, attempting to lead the masses toward what I was sure could be nothing less than superhero film salvation.


The four years that have passed since have been a blur.  Every personal and family memory gauged by the point on the developing story timeline at which it took place.  Like the Aztec calendar, my brain counted down the days until a life changing event when all other things would cease to mater any longer.  Every day from that to May 4th 2012 would be lived just to behold what was to be shown before me on a screen.


And now, that day has nearly arrived.  My family has been informed that I will be spending several hours in a theater this Friday and it is entirely up to them whether or not they would like to be there with me.  Either way, I will be in my seat well before the previews begin and there will be no bathroom breaks.  I have already begun stretching out my bladder tolerance with super-sized Mountain Dews and Double Gulps.  I will be a focused, movie watching machine by the time friday arrives...which cannot happen soon enough.


This may very well be the longest week of my life.

This Weekend Has a Pro in a Con

People my age (how dare you ask that?!) still seem to have a tendency to hide their geeky side deep within.  When out in public, we tend to speak more of our mainstream interests.

How about those Bears?  When do you think he’ll officially drop out of the race?  OMG, did you see Alex go off on Matt on the last 16 & Pregnant?  It’s about time she stood up for herself.

Well, maybe we don’t sell out quite that hard, but most of us have participated in the denial of our true form at some point in our lives, whether it was to avoid a wedgie, noogie, swirly or just the condescending laughter of a cute girl.  The stomach turning shame that associates such a split second decision to blend in with the crowd is something most geeks fully understand.

They're Heeee-ere

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, O...M...G!!!!!


(deep breath)


(exhale)


Ahem...what I meant to say was that today is a day to celebrate.  Today, the Marvel Super Heroes Lego sets have become available.  As I write this, the main page for the sets still reads "Coming Soon," but I assure you that at the Lego Shop page, they are listed as available.


The thing that caught me off guard was that I was expecting sets tied into next month's Avengers film.  I had already seen the minifigure versions of Thor, Cap, Iron Man, Hulk, etc.  What I did not expect was an X-Men set that included minifigure versions of Wolverine, Deadpool and Magneto.  Cool!


Now if you'll excuse me, research needs to be done here in the Transformer Generation Dad household.  If I am to properly manipulate my sons into using their Easter money to purchase a few of these sets, I need to maximize the minifigures that will be acquired.