Simple Weekly Features Just Trying to Make Their Way in the Universe

Just a few weeks into the NFL season, I have already found it difficult to get the weekly features posted on time.  A large portion of each Sunday seems to be spent in front of my television and since my wife is not a big football fan, taking the time to write the weekly features immediately after watching the game would leave me feeling like a neglectful husband.  Mind you, it isn't about my wife's feeling, but about mine.  I hate feeling guilty.


Anyway, as I spoke with my boys about their final Halloween costume arrangements, I began to think back to the other costumes they have donned over the years.  Despite what everyone believes upon first meeting my sons, they are not twins.  However, they tend to select costumes that tie into one another as brothers will tend to do.  This is a tradition that was finally broken last year, but they had a solid five years of this prior and I thought to myself, their previous combo costumes would make a great top 5 list to start October:


5. Spider-Men - One was the traditional red and blue and the other was the black variant.  Mind you, it was not Venom, but Spider-Man with the symbiote suit.  I was not in full approval of this because they were technically the same character with different suits on, but I was happy that the costumed were Marvel Comics related so I let it slide.


4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Leonardo and Raphael to be specific, complete with shells and appropriate plastic weaponry...that I had to confiscate a short time later to prevent permanent loss of eyesight.


3. Batman & Robin - They were very small when they dressed as the Dynamic Duo.  In fact, this was their first appearance in like-themed costumes.  The molded muscle chest on my oldest son made it even more awesome.


2. Thor & Iron Man - This was before the buzz over the eventual release of a Thor movie was out, so they were ahead of the times.  The added bonus was that the Thor costume was the classic Thor look instead of the more recent armored incarnations.


1. Jango & Boba Fett - Although this resulted in my older son telling my younger son that he was his father so he had to listen to whatever he said, they looked like a couple of little badasses in these get-ups.  Bonus points go to my younger son for correcting his brother and telling him he was just a clone of him, so he wasn't technically his father.


This week's cool-ass thing you will never own is Luke Skywalker's yellow jacket from the Dantooine medal ceremony.  The bright, sleek outer garment is the ultimate symbol of newfound confidence (okay, maybe next to the black vest and navy pants with yellow piping that Han wears...but i suppose that would suggest previously established confidence).  It says, "I may be a kid from some desert planet, but I just destroyed an Imperial base the size of a small moon.  What have you done to save the galaxy recently?"


This week's sign you are a nerd is that you immediately comment on a Facebook status containing song lyrics with the title, artist and year of release.  While everyone else is commenting on how much they like the song, commenting with their own lyrics form the same song, or just liking it you have to go and catalog it as soon as possible, killjoy.


This week's nemesis is shirt pockets with no buttons.  A shirt pocket without some method of keeping whatever you place in there secured is just reckless.  If I had a dollar for every dollar I had to fish out of a toilet...


This week's lesson learned is not to buy your kids a skateboard whose wood finish matches your hardwood floors nearly perfectly.  When they inevitably leave it at the foot of the stairs, disaster is imminent.


This week's equation calculates the percentage of people in your household who would have fun participating in a Nerf battle:

In this equation N is the percentage of people in your home who would enjoy a Nerf battle, r is number of residents, w is the number of Nerf weapons and a is the area of your home in square feet.


This week's Star Wars quote is, "You didn't see us alone in the South passage."


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