Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I'm Still Alive and Here Are the Weekly Features to Prove It

It's been awhile since the weekly features were updated.  How long?  I'm not sure as self-regulation has not exactly been a strength of mine lately.  But that's all water under the bridge because today the features are brand new and there will be more content coming.  Exciting, right?  Temper your excitement for a moment and let's get to the top five things I love (hate) about Autumn...

5. Darkess later in the morning (and sooner in the evening) - I like that it's still dark in the mornings, especially because I work an overnight shift.  I get to rush home in the morning and crawl into bed while the sun is still hidden on the other side of the earth.  However, by the time I wake up I only have two or three hours of daylight left.

4. (shrunken) Sweaters - The crisp Autumn air is my favorite of the year and I relish looking over my sweater drawer and deciding which I will pull over my head to go out and meet the day.  Then I have to struggle to squeeze my melon through the neck hole and stretch out the sleeves for the next few hours.

3. Thanksgiving (aftermath) - One of my favorite holidays because it's all about stuffing yourself, which for some reason leaves me feeling bloated and stuffed afterward.  Weird.

2. School (drop off) - Having the house nice and quiet during the school year while my kids are gone feels nice.  Waking up to take them there instead of staying hidden under the nice warm blankets?  Not so much.

1. (wet) Leaves - The colors of Autumn might be the best, most iconic aspect of the season.  The difficulty of picking them up after they've had time to sit out in a cold rain might be the worst.

This week's cool-ass thing you will never own is your own urban farm.  Live in the city?  Love eating tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach and kale (gag) but hate having to pay out the nose for organic produce at your local grocery store?  How about building your own farm?  All you need is soil, seeds, hoses, sprinklers, a greenhouse, some fans and a whole buttload of space.  Thinking about making one on your roof?  I hope it's not over your bedroom.

This week's sign you are a nerd is that you read books about comic books.  I'm currently crawling through Supergods by Grant Morrison in an attempt to look more serious and explain away the perception that comic books are kid stuff by reading an extremely wordy (though entertaining) argument.  I could have read so many comics in the meantime.

This week's nemesis is game updates.  Just as I started to find my comfort zone with Minecraft on the 360 and catch up to my kids' learning curve, they go and change the whole set up.  Now I have to sit through tutorials from my eight and nine year old sons.  Not at all patronizing.

This week's lesson learned is not to name the email folder that you are trying to hide online gift receipts in "Secret."  Finally, the Lego Minecraft sets are in stock so you order a few and plan on hiding them until Christmas rolls around.  Maybe you manage to intercept the package at the door and hide it in the crawl space.  But when your kid borrows your smartphone and goes poking around, they are going to figure out that the toys you received the delivery confirmation for are most likely not for you.  GFuess who is headed straight for the crawl space?

This week's analysis diagrams the evolution of the in game avatar:

Finally, this week's Star Wars quote is, "The last remnants have been swept away."

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