Monday, October 15, 2012

Full Length Weekly Features

I don't know about you, but with the commercials proliferating the television, I am becoming very excited for next month's release of Pixar and Disney's new film Wreck It Ralph.  So, to help whet my appetite for retro video games gone CGI, we have decided to start this week's features with the top five feature length Pixar films up to this point:

5. The Incredibles - An underrated volume in Pixar's collection, the adventures of the Parr family and their struggle to both mask and accept their exceptional abilities did just as much to make this movie enjoyable as the fast paced, epic battle scenes.

4. Toy Story 2 - A more enjoyable, funnier storyline in my humble opinion, but the ground work had already been laid by the original, which deserves more props.

3. Up - The most visually dynamic and outright beautiful of the Pixar films, it was the first to take full (and i do mean full) advantage of 3D.

2. Finding Nemo - Not only were the colors in it amazing, alternating from the full color coral reef to the grayish, hazy depths, but the story is one that a dad can't help but get choked up by every time he views it...or forces his kids to view it with him on Father's Day.

1. Toy Story - Know your roots.  The classic that revolutionized the animated feature will more than likely always be TGD's favorite Pixar film.

This week's cool-ass thing you will never own is a fortress of solitude.  It may be what you refer to your man cave as, but unless you have managed to construct it entirely our of giant shards of ice and locate it thousands of miles from any other forms of sentient life, if really isn't all that solitary.

This week's sign you are a nerd is that you constantly find yourself pausing the current episode of The Walking Dead to discuss zombie fighting/avoidance strategy.  I personally would high-tail it north, especially in the winter.  Think about it.  No circulating blood.  No way to keep warm.  The already slow pace of those who would devour you would slow to a crawl as they eventually froze in their tracks.  Their heads would then be particularly easy to shatter into a million pieces, though it would leave an awful lot of clean up come spring.

This week's nemesis is bye weeks.  Once the football season starts, I have a hard time dealing with my team not playing for even one week.  It becomes even more difficult when you watch one of your division rivals lose so that you claim the top spot and another rival win to rise up and become a potential threat again.  I feel so helpless.

This week's lesson learned is to use the right tool for the job.  When gathering sand or gravel, use a shovel.  Use an axe for wood and a pickaxe for stone.  I'm talking about Minecraft here, I hope you all realize, though I suppose this lesson extends to the rest of one's life as well.

This week's analysis is an throwback equation related to kids' Halloween costumes:

The recommended cost in US dollars (c) can be found by taking the square root of your monthly income, again in US dollars (i) then multiplying it by the absolute value of the sum of the expected weight in pounds of candy intake (c) and the number of parties to be attended in said costume (p) minus the average age of your children (a), all divided by the number of kids you have (n).

This week's Star Wars quote is, "Looks like I'm going nowhere."

Thanks for reading.

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