Monday, April 11, 2011

Should I Have Made the Top Five the Top Fore?

With the green jacket being awarded to Charl Shwartzel (how many times do you think he had that misspelled through grammar school?) at this year's Masters tournament over the weekend, I decided to make this week's top five list the top five cool things about golf:

5. The pants - You don't see enough of these since the untimely passing of Payne Stewart, how rocked them.

4. Golf carts - Every time I have been in a go-kart, I have wanted to have it out in open space instead of the confining track. The golf cart is the answer to this prayer. This is one major flaw in the pro game. They should allow the motorized carts on the PGA courses.

3. It's essentially physics - Sort of like becoming good at pool, the challenge is actually carrying out the physical performance of the action that you just determined must be taken through careful measurement.

2. The scenery - If you haven't been out on a golf course during a sunny day, you really ought to try it. It's beautiful and serene, provided you don't have an anxious, impatient foursome behind you. Of course, I let them play through. It's an excuse to sit on my ass and enjoy the outdoors for a few extra moments.

1. The scoring goes backwards - How cool is that? I did less than you, so I won.

This week's cool-ass thing you will never own is the Heart of Gold. The last guy to be known to possess it had to become president of the universe as an elaborate plot just to get his hands on it. But having an improbability drive around to get you out of tight situations would be pretty handy.

This week's sign you are a nerd is that you sweat while playing video games. The Wii and various motion capture games out now don't count. I mean the games you sit on your butt and play with a controller, the old-fashioned way. When you sweat from being so intensely focused on what you're doing on those games, you are a nerd.

This week's nemesis is serving sizes. If there is anybody out there who can sit down with a box of Oreos and eat only two of them, then they don't even deserve to be given a box of Oreos in the first place.

This week's lesson learned is not to hide Lego sets bought as gifts in your car. Eventually, you'll have the kids in there. Even if they don't find them, you will hit a bump and that unmistakable sound will come from the hiding spot. There is just no explaining away why your kids just heard a shaken Lego box coming from the rear of the car.

This week's equation was something that I looked up in light of rough economic times:

I know a lot of people are looking to save money, so if you calculate the surface area of your eggs before purchasing dye, this Easter, you can avoid buying too much. This equation was found in many different forms, but the best explanation I could find came from

This week's Star Wars quote is: "He has too much of his father in him."

Thanks for reading. There will be a few reviews coming soon, so please stop back.

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