Sunday, December 4, 2011

Call Me Steve

Something happened to me yesterday.  I say happened because its significance warrants classifying it not just as a coincidence or an everyday happenstance occurrence, but rather as a monumental event to be celebrated.  Its effect upon my life is positive and immediate and shall no doubt be long lasting.

We were walking through the mall, taking advantage of some holiday sales.  We allowed our sons to pick up some early Christmas presents in the form of Lego sets and Angry Birds winter hats.  My wife picked up her yearly massive makeup set with the purchase of any fragrance.  With everyone having participated in the spirit of consumerism but me (which is truly unusual), my wife made a point of telling me that I needed to find a store that would suit my interests.  I headed straight to Gamestop.

But I didn't make it.

While walking there, it happened.  Before seeing anything in the corner of my eye, before any sort of sensory intake, I felt something.  I became aware of a presence to my left, summoning me, attracting my attention.

When I turned to look, my eyes were met with a glorious sight.  In luminous red, white and blue, what I thought at first to be a vision shone brightly on the bottom rack, through the doors of Hot Topic.  The glow was so captivating, like the mysterious contents of Marsellus Wallace's suitcase, that it actually caused me to wander into Hot Topic without feeling self conscious about being the oldest person in the store and the only one without multiple face piercings.

When I was close enough, my eyes welled with tears as I realized what I was seeing was not an illusion.  I removed its hanger from the rack and stroked its soft exterior.  Then, in a dreamlike trance, I tried it on.  Then, still in a dreamlike trance, I tried on the larger size.  It fit!  I turned to my wife, who had finally caught up with me and while wearing this...

said, "I know what I want for Christmas."

I haven't taken it off since.

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