Monday, December 26, 2011

'Twas the Day After Christmas (TGD Throwback Post)

With Christmas in the rearview mirror for my family, I reached back into the Transformer Generation Dad vault and pulled out this gem from one year ago today.  A few minor changes have been made to it since last year, particularly the changing of a painful ending (you can read the original here to see what I mean because I'd rather not talk about it) and the new year's popular toys being mentioned (though Lego stands firmly in its place), but the majority of it remains the same.  Please enjoy and Happy Holidays once again to all of you and your loved ones.

'Twas the Day After Christmas

‘Twas the day after Christmas and on my end of this blog,

My kids were still fired up like a blazing Yule log.

The stockings had been harvested for their Christmas Morning booty

After St. Nicholas had filled them per his Christmas Eve duty.

My children played with Angry Birds, Lego and more,

Leaving toys in their wake strewn across our wood floor.

My wife in frustration and I with chagrin

Had underestimated how many presents there’d been.

As I picked up wrapping paper, a sneer crossed my face

And my wife mentioned wryly, “We could use some more space.”

I nodded agreement without using my voice

And realized I needed to make a tough choice.

While our sons played downstairs with the occasional shout,

I could search through the house for old crap to throw out.

But try as I did, I failed, I confess.

Our house did not look like there was anything less.

No matter how many bags to the garbage I schlepped,

When I walked through the house, I inevitably stepped

On Nerf darts, on Hot Wheels, on Lego brick sets,

On plush Angry Birds, and almost a new 3DS.

My feet very sore from stepping on toys,

I shouted out angrily, “Get your butts up here, boys!”

With a pause of the Wii and a drop of Nerf guns,

They came, unsuspecting I’d redden their buns.

But what I then saw prevented utter calamity.

The joy on their faces snapped me back to my sanity.

I decided right there not to wallow or sulk.

I decided it was no time to rage like the Hulk.

My mood was suddenly improved without warning,

I asked, “Did you like what you opened last morning?”

They said they had maybe the best Christmas Day

Then I gave them each hugs and sent them back down to play.

Seeing small smiling faces led me to a simple deduction:

That’s precisely why we make the day such a production.

The spirit of giving is why we celebrate this season

But getting is also a pretty decent reason.

Instead of cleaning up mess after mess the whole day,

I had cool books to read and new video games to play.

So I put on warm pajamas and thick, comfy socks

And snuck up to my room where I played some Xbox.

Then I thought as I fired with my rifle’s thermal site

We had a pretty damn merry Christmas, alright.

Hope you had one too and your hearts are all full

Now it’s on to the New Year and welcome back to my Bulls.

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