Saturday, July 28, 2012

TGD's Fantas(y)tic Offer

The most intense sports season of all is nearly upon us.  No other sporting contest tells you more about yourself and your competitors.  Loyalties are tested, friends become mortal enemies and even kin turn their back on one another for the chance at victory.

Yes, it is time to begin prepping for the fantasy football season.  And nobody can do it alone.  The sooner you accept the fact that you need help, the sooner I can help you.

I don't pretend to have advice to offer you about who to draft, who not to draft or who to draft if that one guy you were going to draft has already been drafted.  There are countless websites and publications out there you can reference to get such advice.  No, the help I so generously extend my hand and offer today concerns something many overlook.  It involves the first thing anyone will notice about your fantasy team.  It is your first chance to make an impression upon your opponent, whether it be to intimidate or confuse.

I want to name your fantasy team.

I made this same offer to my readers in a post from last year.  However, nobody accepted my offer.  Now, it's possible that the ranks of fantasy football leagues out there were peppered with some of the gems that I let slip in that post and that would be fine.  But my true hope is that you readers out there might comment on this post, telling me a little about yourself and giving me insight into your personality (your football philosophy, favorite hobby, book, movie, or brand of cereal), and that I may then offer a few potential names for you to choose from.  I'm thinking each comment gets three potential names.

But you doubt my abilities, don't you?  I can't say that I blame you.  And so, as a gesture of good faith, I will throw another few beauties out there that you can choose to steal for your own team if you are too shy to leave a comment.  Here are just a few I thought of at random in no particular order...

  • Secret Apprentice
  • Dungeons & Defensive Backs
  • Kobiyashi Maru
  • Mean Machine
  • Tusken Raiders
  • The Horse You Rode in On
  • The Wreck of the Larry Fitzgerald
  • Boom Bang Pow
  • Previously Unreleased Yardage
  • Brick by Brick
  • Something Completely Different
  • Unimpeded to Your Quarterback
  • Mandalorians
  • Herald of Galactus

...and I'm spent.

But seriously folks, that took a matter of two minutes.  If you comment on this post and ask for a customized name for your fantasy team, I guarantee that I will spend at least five minutes thinking up three potential names just for you.  That's more than one minute per name!

Regardless of your naming decision, I wish you all luck this season.  May the Force be with you...ooh, that's another one!  "Force With a Capital F."  Ok, I'm done.

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