Friday, September 14, 2012

My Sincerest (Hypothetical) Gratitude

Transformer Generation Dad's Retro-Gaming Museum (TGDRGM) has been up and running for a few weeks now with rave reviews.  All visitors (yes, all eight) to the TGDRGM have been wowed by the selection of titles from yesteryear and the authentic retro-gaming experience it provides.  If you recall, the TGDRGM is even accepting donations.  Click this link to find out how to make yourself one of TGD's most favoritest of all readers by donating your old game cartridges today.

If there is one thing that we here at Transformer Generation Dad take more seriously than retro video games, it is anti-piracy laws.  Which is a real shame because I hear through underground channels that one can, if one were so inclined, procure an old Xbox console and outfit it with hundred if not thousands of retro video game emulators from various systems.

Of course, I cannot speak as to whether or not this can actually be done because I will never admit to having seen it first hand.  At this point let us just consider the possibility that it might just be an urban legend (an extremely geeky one at that) and that none of us will ever know if it can truly happen.  Thus, we can discuss the awesome potential of such an outfitted system in hypothetical terms.  Let the parenthetical comments commence.

Such a system would be unspeakably awesome (hypothetically).  Imagine being able access every title you have ever heard of from the likes of the Atari 2600, Atari Lynx, Coleco Vision, NES, SNES, GameBoy, GameBoy Color, NeoGeo Pocket, Sega Genesis, Sega Game Gear, Sega Master System, Turbo-Grafx 16, and hundreds of old stand up arcade titles on a single console.  Man, that would be awesome (hypothetically).  Just think of the (hypothetical) wonder of being able to access and play all of your favorite video games from your (meaning my) youth, a time when your in-game avatar looked like this:
What an impressive physique!
Anyone who could provide me with such a wonderful gift, such an amazing contribution to the TGDRGM (legally, of course) would receive my eternal (hypothetical) gratitude.  I would absolutely love to be able to access all of the games I used to have to scrounge (meaning beg my parents for) quarters to play at the local Shakey's on one console with a modern controller in my (hypothetical) hands.

And since we are speaking in hypotheticals, let's consider that while this (hypothetical) TGD fan was preparing this (hypothetical) contribution to the TGDRGM, he (or she, who knows, since none of this is real) decided to go to an extra level of customization and plaster the TGD logo across the start up screen.  That would be super awesome (hypothetically).  Then, let's say that as you decide which old system's games you would (hypothetically) like to play, while you wait for the (hypothetical) emulator to load, you were treated to the following TGD original image...
This never gets old for me
but with an added feature.  Let's just say the (hypothetical) master behind this (hypothetical) Mecca of retro gaming goodness was able to have the loading icon be this image with a word bubble coming form the decapitated Jar Jar head saying, "Eesa Loadin!"  That would be one of the funniest and most amazingly clever things I have ever (hypothetically) seen and it would (hypothetically) blow my (hypothetical) mind.

Oh, if only there were a (hypothetical) TGD fan out there who might be able to make this happen (legally, of course).  Then, I would (hypothetically) write an entire post about how amazingly, awesomely, (hypothetically) geeky said fan,, might be, because, remember, he is not real, he (or she) is only hypothetical.  I also would have stayed up until three o'clock in the morning last night (hypothetically) since it was my night off and played as many of these (hypothetical) games as I could while drinking (not so hypothetical) beer until I finally passed out from (hypothetical) euphoria.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have go  The sousaphone, yes, that's it, I have to go play my "sousaphone."  It was a gift from someone and if they happen to be reading this, I would like them to know I really appreciate it.  The sousaphone, that is.

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