Nothing screeches form the rooftops of malls (like an uncontaminated human fleeing the zombie hordes within and spotting a low flying aircraft overhead) that you are in the holiday spirit more than over the top consumerism. In order to help you find the best gifts for your loved ones, I have committed hours of painstaking research to selecting a number of gifts and displaying them on Transformer Generation Dad's 2011 Gift Guide.
You may have seen me conducting such research. It would have appeared to the untrained eye like me standing slack-jawed in the toy, video game and movie sections of local department stores drooling onto my shoes. I assure you that the process you were so privileged to witness was me activating the photographic memory cortex of my brain, which happens to require the loosening of my jaw. What you thought was drool was the run-off from the cooling system that my brain has developed to counteract the superheated temperatures which result from the intense amounts of thought I put into gathering information for the gift guide. Now that's dedication.
Your interests and the interests of those you love are like the universe, they are ever-expanding. Thus, as with last year, the gift guide will also be ever expanding. The first few entries have been posted and more will be added up until the last few hours of the shopping season. Like a growth on your shoulder blade, it begins with a small sampling that makes you notice it in the mirror and say, "Ah, it's probably nothing," and then a few weeks later is so large that your shirts don't fit anymore. Yes, that it the horrifying speed with which the gift guide will spread, unchecked.
This year, however, I ask something special of my readers. See something cool that I haven't noticed yet? Contact me and let me know that it should be on the guide. If it has anything to do with reality television or Twilight, I guarantee it will be left off, but I am open to all non-lame suggestions.
What are you waiting for? This post stopped being interesting after the zombie reference, so stop reading already and get to browsing by clicking on the the link above or the Gift Guide logo at the top of the left column.
Good luck, fellow capitalists.
A mech built to scavenge for his existence
1 hour ago