Portrait of a Productive Monday at Home

Lately, my wife has really been carrying a hefty load of chores about the house.  My sons and I have been the beneficiaries of home cooked meals and newly organized areas about our house allowing us to rediscover long lost items like gloves, Nerf darts and that one really awesome super bouncy ball that was missing for at least a year.  Turns out it was under the couch the whole time.  Who knew?

In appreciation of all her hard work, I planned on staying up after taking my sons to school Monday on my morning off in order to do some of the work around the house that had built up over the busy weekend.  I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part to let her sleep in.

The following is a run down of my day...

7:00 A.M. - Woke up to alarm, hit snooze button.

7:07 A.M. - Woke up for real, two minutes prior to alarm sounding again.

7:08 A.M. - Smiled smugly and told alarm to suck it.

7:09 A.M. - Rushed loudly back into bedroom to turn off alarm clock that I had neglected to actually turn off.  Noted beeping sounded strangely like alarm clock saying, "No, you suck it."

7:10 A.M. - Evacuated bladder. (Yes, I washed my hands)

7:11 A.M. - Woke up sons.

7:15 A.M. - Prepared sons breakfast of champions (cereal and donuts) and packed their lunches.

7:25 A.M. - Briefed by sons on latest cartoon episodes and YouTube videos.

7:40 A.M. - Left house to drive sons to school.

7:43 A.M. - Returned to house to retrieve lunches packed earlier.

7:50 A.M. - Successfully dropped sons off at school.

7:55 A.M. - Returned home.

8:00 A.M. - Began load of laundry.

8:10 A.M. - Started folding old clean laundry still sitting in a pile.

9:00 A.M. - Switched laundry from washer to dryer and put new load in washer.

9:55 A.M - Startled out of trance induced from watching Ninja Warrior marathon to buzz of completed dryer cycle.  Realized I had yet to fold any laundry.

9:57 A.M. - Decided to pick up those g--d--- Lego bricks off the floor that I had stepped on four times already while going back and forth with the laundry.

10:02 A.M. - Became tired from picking up Lego bricks.  Sat down in comfy recliner.

10:45 A.M. - Woke up to shouting Japanese announcer from Ninja Warrior marathon.

10:47 A.M. - Decided to prepare coffee and eat something to fuel the rest of what is to be a productive day.

10:49 A.M. - Began clearing just enough dishes out of sink to prepare coffee.

11:10 A.M. - Finally began preparing coffee.

11:14 A.M. - Began to prepare instant oatmeal.

11:14.23 A.M. - Upon opening fridge to retrieve milk for instant oatmeal, noticed half a peanut butter cup pie still uneaten.

11:16 A.M. - Startled from trance induced by staring at peanut butter cup pie, replaced instant oatmeal packet where I found it.

11:20 A.M. - Enjoyed the f--- out of some coffee and peanut butter cup pie while sitting in front of computer.

11:21 A.M. - Played video games online.

12:00 A.M. - Woke up wife.

12:00 A.M. - Played more video games while she prepared herself breakfast.

2:25 P.M. - Picked up sons form school.

2:33 P.M. - Began watching pre-game coverage of Bears vs. Eagles Monday Might Football.

7:30 P.M. - Stopped watching pre-game coverage in favor of watching actual football game.

UNK several hours later - Celebrated Bears' victory over the (H)Ea(t)gles with much hooting and fist pumping.

2:00 A.M following morning - Realized a load of laundry had been left in the washer.


In short, the day was even more productive than I could have imagined.  You're welcome, honey.