Saturday, June 4, 2011

It Takes One to Know One

Consider today's post a confession. I am a thirty-four year old American male (that's not the confession yet...wait for it....) yet I have never seen The Godfather in its entirety from start to finish. Whew, it feels good getting that off my chest.

It is my understanding that for a man my age, seeing The Godfather at least eight hundred times is a mandatory requirement. I have seen every portion of the movie at some point, but I will not pretend to believe that this is an appropriate substitute for viewing it properly. I sincerely apologize for my glaring shortcoming on this matter. Please don't think any less of me than you already do.

The good news is I now have a few weeks of vacation ahead of me. While I have plenty of other projects that need attention around my house I think it is finally time to embrace my destiny and make watching the iconic film a priority. The thought of no longer having to hang my head in shame when The Godfather inevitably works its way into a conversation far outweighs reorganizing that storage space beneath the stairs, replacing the burnt out lightbulbs throughout the house and paying the bills. Like they're really going to turn the gas off. Who needs it this time of year anyway?

There exists a significant reason for my sudden desire to catch up to the rest of the world on this matter that I have neglected to mention. I'm not planning on developing my own organized crime syndicate, nor am I looking for new ways to influence people through the use of racehorses. I'm already pretty well versed on the latter of those two.

No, the real reason I have an urge to watch The Godfather is because I am about to become a godfather myself. Tomorrow, I will have the honor and the privilege of holding my young nephew and speaking on his behalf. Keep in mind, this is his parents' choice, not his. He strikes me as already knowing better than to put too much faith in me, but they apparently have yet to realize this.

Since being a godfather is a pretty big deal to me I'd like to get my lines and my Brando impersonation down as soon as possible. That will give me a few years to practice before my godson can realistically grasp the meaning behind any of the Godfather references that I will no doubt be dropping on him throughout the rest of his childhood.

Here's to my soon-to-be godson's baptism. May God bless him and may he recognize what the hell I'm talking about seven years from now when I tell him that I will tie his shoes as a personal favor to him and that he will be asked someday to do a favor for me in return.


  1. OMG, My nephew has not seen the Godfather straight through! How embassessing! "A man cannot be a real man" without that. "You can act like a man!" You also have to watch all 3 Godfather movies in a row to qualify as well and also watch the rarely seen Godfather Saga where they put Godfather 1 and 2 in sequence. That is an absolute must see. I have it on an old VHS tape if you need it. Anyway, make the time or I'll really have to kick you butt at the next family party and you'll then have you go sleep with the fishes.
    Uncle Carl

  2. I know. I am ashamed of myself and plan to have watched at least the first and second Godfather films by the end of the month.

    Perhaps more shocking, however, is the fact that my uncle used the acronym OMG. Even more shocking is the fact that he later in the same comment suggested I watch the films on VHS.

    Come the next family get together, I look forward to discussing the relationship between Sonny, Fredo and Michael with you, Unc.