Thursday, June 16, 2011

Third Person Thursday: Gamer

The third person post below is inspired by Transformer Generation Dad's logo at the top of this blog entitled Gamers. I wanted to write something with a Father's Day twist to it and realized that this blog was started because of and is centered around fatherhood on a daily basis. Thus, I stared at the logo that I created when I first thought of this blog's purpose and created a story based on my mind's inner workings.

It took him eleven attempts, but once he finally passed the fiery Sea of Skarmoosh, Henry switched over to automatic. His thumbs moved like lightening. The distance between A and Y became nonexistent. The control stick glided from side to side with zero resistance. He flew through never seen before levels as if he had navigated them a thousand times.

In his excitement, Henry had arisen from the big comfy chair in which he had started his adventure and had begun to move around the room. When he dodged the bursts from the anti-matter cannon, he dropped a shoulder and moved the controller in the desired direction in an attempt to get his onscreen counterpart to move faster. As his character ducked below the propeller blades of the level boss’s helicarrier while attempting to board it, Henry too, squatted slightly.

The battle with The Lord of Lamentation proved difficult. It was the first legitimate hiccup in his quest to save the Staff of Eternal Pleasantness since he crossed the fiery sea. After three attempts, no amount of sticking out his tongue seemed to help at all.

Henry hit the Start button and sprinted up the stairs to family computer room. It wasn’t until he needed to type the name of the video game into the walkthrough site that he realized he was still holding the controller in his left hand. Thank God for wireless technology.

His eyes scanned frantically over the pages as he scrolled past them on the screen.

Lillypad Island, psshhht, easy. Like anyone would even need a walkthrough.

Pirate Ship of Unattainable Mercy. Kicked its ass.

Expert Bomb-Maker’s Cabin in the Wild Woods of West Calamity. Done.

Sea of Skarmoosh. Did that.

Hall of Putrid Debris, no; Land of Frigid Zombies, no; Staircase of Forgotten Memories, no; Boarding Helicarrier, no…AHA!

Henry quickly scrolled the page back up and proceeded down with extreme caution so as to not accidentally spy the secrets lying in wait beyond his current level. He just wanted enough information to get past and then he would survive on his own, or at least until he got stuck again.

“His sideburns,” Henry said out loud. “I never would have gotten that.”

Then he ran out of the family computer room and back down the stairs just as fast as he has run up them. “I got it, I got it, I got it,” he assured no one in particular on the entire way back to his rightful place before the television.

Within seconds, he used the Unbreakable Sheep Shearers on The Lord of Lamentation’s sideburns and had left him vulnerable to his basic attack. After unleashing that little gem, he dispatched the daunting boss with ease.

The final battle then went quickly because, despite his best attempts not to, Henry had seen what was next on the walkthrough he had consulted on the internet.

Henry’s thumbs came to rest. They felt warm. As he released the death grip on the controller, his fingers ached. The small molded indents where the tiny screws were recessed on the controller’s bottom side could be seen imprinted into his palms. He gazed in awe at the ending animation sequence. He watched as the Staff of Eternal Pleasantness returned to its owner, King Megamouth, and in return, he had offered the hand of his beautiful daughter, Princess D'Mure to Henry’s in game character.

Henry’s eyes watered. It wasn’t so much out of joy as it was fatigue. He had not blinked them for some time and they stung the first time he allowed them to close. But a few of the tears that ran down his cheeks were actually tears of joy.

“That,” Henry said aloud, “is how it’s done.”

“Great dad,” his sons replied form behind him as he sat upside down in the big comfy chair Henry had abandoned so long ago. “Do you think we can get a turn now?”

“Hey, you’re the one who asked me to get you past that level.”

“That was thirteen levels ago.”

“Whatever,” Henry said and handed his son the controller. “Might as well just start over on your own save file.”

While he tried to act imposed upon, Henry walked to the stairs with his chest puffed out and his spirits high. Even after his son called after him, “Ewww, you got the controller all sweaty!"


  1. And I thought I was the only one....

  2. To get the controller all sweaty, or to take video game time away from your kids? It really doesn't matter because in either case, you are most certainly not alone.