Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Return of the Weekly Features

My youngest son turned eight yesterday and the weekend festivities left me little time to reflect on just what an amazing addition he has been to my family.  My need obsessive to write blog posts doesn't leave me with much time today either, so the least I can do for the best little brother I know (I come in a close second) is to pay homage by making this week's top five list a collection of my favorite pop culture brothers:

5. The Blues Brothers - Jake and Elwood Blues are a bit outdated now, but I remember my cousin and I looking forward to family weddings only because it gave us the opportunity to showcase our Blues Brothers routine on the dance floor.

4. The Hanson Brothers - Another older movie that means little to the current generation, but the three brothers from Slap Shot were classic.  My favorite scene came when Paul Newman walked in on them in the hotel room playing with their race cars.

3. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - You know what they say, the family that mutates together grows to study ninjutsu, eat pizza and fight both teenage angst and underground japanese gangs together.

2. Thor & Loki - With The Avengers blowing up the box office, the God of Thunder and his adoptive brother are a hot pair right now.  But as a lifelong lover of the Avengers, I have to appreciate how the sibling rivalry between these two brought the team together in the first place.

1. Mario & Luigi - They started out looking more like twin brothers and their appearances changed dramatically over the years.  Since then, they have run through dungeons, explored new galaxies, battled ghosts, won go-kart tournaments and played countless sports together all while repeatedly saving one another's lives.  That's brotherly love.

This week's cool-ass thing you will never own in a robot maid.  Or butler, whichever you chose.  It's a robot, remember, so there is no actual sexual reproduction going on here, just the gender you would decide to assign to it if the technology and finances existed to obtain one.  Since they don't, it may help to keep in mind that they usually just end up trying to kill you (Ultron) or at the very least have really smart mouths (Rosie of the Jetsons).

This week's sign you are a nerd is that you tok your mom to see The Avengers.  Nothing women like more than sitting in a crowded theater with a bunch of adolescents or adult comic book nerds watching a super awesome action movie.  I probably reminded her of that moment when he heart sunk as she felt the pages of magazines hidden beneath your bed then the relief she felt when she found them to be comic books, not porn.  Then there was the confusion over which she would have preferred.

This week's nemesis is professional basketball players in glasses.  I'm not sure who started this whole trend, but I'm pretty sure most of them are fake glasses being worn only as fashion.  Let me be clear about this.  Those thick black frames are the cultural right of the poor of vision and the nerdy, not for the jocks.  Lebron, Dwayne, Dwight, Amare and Carmello, you are all hereby placed on notice.  Give them back.

This week's lesson learned is that you can most definitely have too much of a good thing.  Chocolate cake is awesome.  Three days straight of it will make you not want to look at chocolate cake again...until next week.

This week's analysis conveys my recent findings regarding retro gaming consoles:

This week's Star Wars quote is, "He doesn't like you."

Thanks for reading.  I hope to have more posts up later today, so check back soon.

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