Saturday, January 7, 2012

Start Your Playoffs Right With the Moral High Ground

Here it is, the opening weekend for the NFL Playoffs!  While the playoffs of any sport (other than soccer) are always more exciting, this postseason is bittersweet for your truly.

After attending the opening game of my beloved Chicago Bears and watching them ascend the power rankings throughout the season, the loss of Jay Cutler to a thumb injury began what would be one of the most horrific downward spirals of any team I have ever witnessed.  The wheels on the Bears' bus (the one they get off running) came completely off and, to beat the metaphor to death, it didn't skid along on its frame, it was placed on cinderblocks.

But it's time to move forward and hope that next year holds more promise for my Bears.  In the meantime, there is other football to watch; football that I am not emotionally attached to in any way.

Thus, I will now keep with last season's tradition of picking the upcoming games.  However, be warned that just like last year, I will not be picking the winners of the games based on any system by which you should confidently place money on a team over.  No, I select the winners based on which team is the morally respectable choice.

So, without any further ado, here are Transformer Generation Dad's Moral High Ground Picks:

Saturday's Games

Cincinnati Bengal at Houston Texans
While the current roster of the Bengals does not contain any felons that I am aware of (maybe because I just don't follow the Bengals closely enough), Marvin Lewis is still the head coach.  This is the same man who was the defensive coordinator of the murderous Ray Lewis in Baltimore and who allowed numerous felons and lawlessness during other seasons in Cincinnati.  Other the other sideline will be the Houston Texans, who would not hurt a fly.  In fact that has been their problem since the inception of the latest Houston franchise.  I also have a soft spot for any city that loses its team and wish good things for any team that reappears in said city.
Update: After initially posting this and watching the game for awhile, I realized Adam "Pac-Man" Jones is on the Bengals now, which only serves to solidify my confidence in the Moral High Ground Pick below.
TGD Moral High Ground Pick: Houston Texans

Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints
To be frank, I personally believe there is only one team in the NFC North that is not evil.  The Lions have done nothing to dispel this irrational bias of mine this season.  They have dirty players.  Their whining coach chased down another coach after a game (see my post about it here).  They are just bad news.  And what about the Saints?  Come on.  How can you not like Drew Brees?  And then there is the whole bringing a championship to a devastated city a few seasons back.
TGD Moral High Ground Pick: New Orleans Saints

Sunday's Games

Atlanta Falcons at New York Giants
The Atlanta Falcons have a few classy guys on their club in Matt Ryan and Tony Gonzalez.  Plus, the Falcons moved on from Michael Vick without looking back during the whole dog fighting debacle.  The willingness to cut ties with a player that does something reprehensible in this league adds moral credibility to a team.  The Giants have won within the past decade.  They are the epitome of a lazy team in my humble opinion that constantly underachieves and then squeaks into the playoffs.  Plus, remember that Eli Manning refused to play for the Chargers (who picked up a pretty decent quarterback in exchange for him in that draft).  That still does not sit well with me.  On top of that, they are from New York.
TGD Moral High Ground Pick: Atlanta Falcons

Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos
This is a tough choice.  Tim Tebow has been a polarizing figure.  If you ask him, he is obviously the moral high ground choice.  God told him so.  I firmly believe that God (if you believe there is one and regardless of his name) does not give a crap about professional sports and to suggest he/she/it does and wants your team to win is extremely cocky and self-important.  On top of that, John Elway, the Bronco's general manager, pulled the same stunt that I hold against Eli Manning.  Still, Ben Roethlisberger's propensity for hanging around drunk college girls and being accused of Criminal Sexual Assault trumps all these on the moral reprehensibility priority list.
TGD Moral High Ground Pick: Denver Broncos

There you have it, the first round of moral high ground picks for this season's NFL playoffs.  While you might not win any cash by betting on these teams (disclaimer: TGD does not support or condone gambling, especially when taking TGD's advice regarding it), rooting for them with allow you to sleep better at night.

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