Sunday, April 22, 2012

Earth Day Weekly Features

Sunday is the usual time to update the weekly features and it’s also Earth Day.  Hence, we will start with our top five ways to celebrate ordered in increasing difficulty…

5. Wait another day to discard old batteries – Go ahead and throw them right into that landfill tomorrow, but don’t do it today.  Show the earth some respect.

4. Replace burnt out light bulbs in your home with energy efficient ones – It’s something you out to get off your butt and do anyway, so why not make them bulbs that cost more and produce dimmer light but use less energy.

3. Assemble a Lego set by candlelight – No energy needed to have a good time here.  As an added bonus, the candles will probably provide better light to read the assembly instructions by than the energy efficient bulbs you just installed.

2. Walk, don’t drive – God or evolution or some non-conflicting mixture of the two provided you with those paddles at the ends of your legs for a reason other than working the pedals in your car.  Use them.

1. Hook your television and DVD player up to an exercise bike and use it to watch Al Gore’s An Inconvenient TruthHappy Feet, Avatar and The Lorax are also acceptable substitutes.

This week’s cool-ass thing you will never own is a space station.  It would be nice to have that outer space home away from home for when our planet’s resources are all used up, but maintenance on these bad boys is really difficult.  You would totally have to hire a full time cleaning staff.

This week’s sign you are a nerd is your hosting of a 3rd Rock from the Sun marathon.  What’s not to like?  You have the classically great comedic timing of John Lithgow and Jane Curtin, the beginnings of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s career and Kristen Johnston was still kind of hot when she was on the show.  But what ever happened to French Stewart?  That was one mean Martin Short shtick he did.

This week’s nemesis is graphic novels.  I love to read.  I also love looking at pictures.  There are so many enticing graphic novels out there.  I have plenty of them stacked on my desk, waiting for me to crack them open.  Yet I get funny looks from passers-by in public for reading what they call “comic books” and get self conscious so instead of enjoying the nicer weather this time of year with a book, I am shunned indoors because I can’t help but want to read the graphic novels.

This week’s lesson learned is to check the cap on a bottle of liquid or semi-solid before you shake it vigorously.  The convenience of gel dishwashing soap is negated by having to wipe it up from your cabinets and countertop and cleaning out of your hair.

With Dick Clark’s death, it can no longer be refuted that the world will end on December 21st of this year.  Thus, I have provided you a method by which to count the days left…

T represents the time left and d is the number of days that have passed since this was posted.

This week’s Star Wars quote is, “No!  Alderaan is peaceful.  We have no weapons.”

Thanks for reading.  Stay tuned for an Earth Day message to be posted later today.

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