A Blast of Fresh Weekly Features

Weekly Feature update time is at hand.

Our top five this week is mouth-mad laser sounds:

5. Zap - Cool in a retro, to the point sort of way.

4. Fwoosh - Appropriate for a larger laser cannon more than a handheld blaster.

3. Bzzzzz - We're talking more of a villain's continuous laser about to slice his nemesis in two type of effect going on here.

2. Bazow - A little ricochet action on the two syllable option.

1. Pew, pew - It doesn't get better than this short, rapid-fire friendly onomatopoeia-ism.

This week's cool ass thing you will never own is a pet lion. Proud and regal, you would simultaneously gain more respect from your peers and have a big warm fuzzy mane to snuggle up to. Gazelle is really expensive per pound, though.

The week's sign you are a nerd is not that you know what onomatopoeia is (though it is also a strong hint) but the fact that you know how many words you read per minute. It's nerdy enough to read a lot, but if you're keeping stats on it then you are a total nerd.

The nemesis for the week is Daylight Savings Time. The suns going down early enough as it is, and it isn't 1890 anymore. We aren't all waking up at five in the morning. Those that are inspired enough to wake up that early obviously don't need sunlight as much for inspiration, so let's save some for the rest of us lazy slobs.

This week's lesson learned is that leaves are much easier to rake when they are dry. Not only are the leaves that have been sitting out in the rain heavier, but you end up being surprised by the slugs hiding beneath them. Just hope you find them before heading inside and undressing for the night.

In this week's equation, V subscript g is the true value of a children's board game. It can be found by taking the time your children can be occupied by it (t) and subtracting the volume level of any noise it produces (v) then multiplying that value by the educational value (E) and ten over the number of loose pieces it comes with (n).

And of course, we have our Star Wars quote for the week:

"You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake. Well, this could be it, sweetheart."

Please vote in this months poll (see left column) and thank you for reading. Have a good week.