August's First Weekly Features

Welcome to August and to Transformer Generation Dad’s weekly features update. Summer is winding down…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Ahem. Sorry.

So, that made me start to reminisce about summer concerts I’ve been to. Since I haven’t been to any this year, it forced me to consider which ones I attended last year and which ones I might want to try and squeeze in before the season is over. That lead me to think of Kings of Leon, one of my newest favorite bands who I saw last summer and am thinking of catching soon. Now that you know my thought process, here are the top five Kings of Leon songs you have likely not heard on the radio:

5. True Love Way
4. Taper Jean Girl
3. Red morning Light
2. Cold Desert
1. Arizona

This weeks cool-ass thing you will never own is a personal submarine, the likes of which were featured in James Cameron’s epic underwater adventure, The Abyss. And let’s be honest, your last name is not Cousteau, anything anyone could have retrieved from any of those shipwrecks has already been taken, and Prince Namor will not give you the time of day.

This week’s sign you are a nerd is that you know who Prince Namor is and immediately got the above reference.

This week’s nemesis is the giant Costco can of macadamia nuts that is causing me to power through fat calories on a daily basis because I cannot resist their nutty, tropical goodness.

This week’s lesson learned is to make sure your seven-year-old gives you back your iPhone and doesn’t leave it in the car. This way, you won’t look like a crazy person as you continually rub your pants pockets and look around on the ground saying, “Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!”

This week’s equation expresses the relationship of one’s panic level to their having to prepare children for the upcoming school year. Note it is possible to reduce the panic level by increasing the number of summer days spent fishing.

And finally, this week’s Star Wars quote, which I am too lazy to look through the archives and check for sure hasn’t already been used, is, “Never tell me the odds.”

Enjoy your week. Regular posts resume tomorrow.