A Slave (1) To Lego Star Wars Or How My Sons Played Me Like A Fiddle

My sons and I made a trip to Target this evening to pick up some household items. While there, I promised them each a Lego set because I owed them one. I told them it could be something small to medium sized.

When we hit the Lego aisle, I noticed a few new Lego Star Wars sets. “Whoa,” I ever so eloquently stated, and picked up the Hoth Wampa Cave set (#8089 for those who would like to consult their catalog). I then tried to convince whichever one of my sons would bite that this was surely the set they wanted.

“It’s got a Lego Wampa, and a skeleton, and it comes with a Snowspeeder. Awesome, huh?”

But before I could even assess their interest, my eyes instantly fixed upon a box on the bottom shelf. I squealed on the inside like a school-girl. Frankly, I was so excited that I cannot guarantee that I didn’t squeal like a school girl on the outside as well.

There before me was the Lego Slave 1.

For those who are not complete dorks, the Slave 1 was the name of Boba Fett’s ship in The Empire Strikes Back. The Lego set (#8097) comes with a minifigure Boba Fett, complete with brown cape over one shoulder, and a carbonite frozen Han Solo. It also, curiously, comes with one of the other cameo bounty hunters from the film by the name of Bossk. He is shown on the box pushing the levitating, carbonite-encased Han into Slave 1 in a gross misrepresentation of the actual events of the movie. However, because a Bossk minifigure is completely bad-ass, I instantly forgave the error and began to covet the set even more.

The Wampa Hoth Cave went into the cart and my hands were on the Slave 1 set before I knew what I was doing.

“We are totally getting this,” I said in the twelve-year-old speak that I break down into when a toy gets my adrenaline all revved up.

I give my sons all the credit in the world for having figured their old man out at such young ages. They read my eyes and my actions and made a slick move.

“Are we definitely getting those?” asked my six-year-old.

“Hell yeah!” My language is also suspect during these moments.

“But I want to pick out a different Lego,” he replied, my seven-year-old chiming in with a, “Me too.”

“Don’t you guys want these sets?” I questioned, in a panic. “These are like the coolest Lego Star Wars sets ever. You have to get these.”

I looked from the boxes I had already placed in the shopping cart to my sons. The cool, stoic looks they gave me forced me to realize what they had obviously realized from the time I grabbed the first box. I wasn’t putting those two sets back on the shelf no matter what happened. This was their shot at extra Lego.

“You can get those,” said my seven-year-old and, “Yeah we want other ones,” added my six-year-old. Apparently, when scamming their father out of extra toys, they begin speaking in an alternating manner like creepy twins in old fairy tales.

“I guess I’ll put these back then,” I unconvincingly bluffed. I dared not even lift them from the cart in fear that some other savvy Lego shopper would swoop into the aisle and rob me of my glorious bounty as soon as they were returned back to the shelf and made fair game.

“Okay,” they said simultaneously and turned to look at the other sets.

I waited for them to change their minds, but they picked out two other sets and then asked if I was going to put the Star Wars sets back. Without answering, I pushed the cart from the aisle and headed to look for what we had originally come there to buy. Well played, boys. Well played indeed.

And so we left Target with a Lego set for each of my sons and two for me. I’m sure my boys were smiling and high five-ing each other mentally with subtle glances back and forth.

Let’s just see how they feel when the Slave 1 is perched out of their reach on the shelf above my desk and when they want to take it down and play with it, they are reminded that it’s mine. They think they’re so smart. Let’s see who will be laughing then.