Friday, August 6, 2010

Extra Ambition, Hold The Cucumbers

My wife and I are all about telling my kids they can achieve whatever they set their minds to. No goal is considered too lofty in our household. No idea or dream is snuffed out immediately as being too ridiculous. If one of my sons wants to do something badly enough that he still wants to do it when he wakes up the next morning, he is encouraged to look it up on the computer, read and learn more to see how he can make it happen.

My seven-year-old has a fantastic idea for a restaurant. The type of food served matters little in his scheme. In fact, I’m fairly certain I remember him saying it would serve everything. What matters is the method of delivery to your table.

At some point in the future, my son plans to invent a very futuristic sounding, ceiling mounted tube which will be located above each table. When your food is ready, the tube will cover the entire table and when it raises, your food will be there. He plans to call it the Choo-Choo Tube. Or maybe it’s the Chew-Chew Tube. We haven’t discussed spelling. Now remember, this idea is documented here, so don’t go trying to steal it.

My point is, I’ve spent no time whatsoever explaining to him how difficult such a feat may be. Nor have I discouraged his imagination by describing how caked with food the inside of the tube system will become and how some miniature employee will have to climb through the tubes each day to clean them, even though it’s the first random image to pop into my head.

It’s fun to see him describe the restaurant (trust me, I did no justice to the planned establishment compared to the mental portrait my son paints). I get a kick out of his plans to be a restaurateur. Seeing his drawings of the great tubes descending upon his diners makes me chuckle with pride at the detail of it all.

Yet at the same time, it’s good for a child to understand their limitations.

Sometimes, there are things your child absolutely cannot do. Some because you forbid it, others because they are physically unable.

Crossing the street without an adult is still off limits. I don’t mind crushing that particular dream of theirs.

Jumping off the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool will not even be attempted. Their aspirations to be on Jackass can wait until I’m no longer around to witness it.

A friend of theirs has been heard to say, “I can’t eat cucumbers, ‘cause if I do, I get gas…real bad.” If that’s not knowing your limitations, I don’t know what is.

I’m good friends with a man of Mexican descent. He tells me that when he was a kid, he always looked up to police officers. He would go up to them and say hello all the time. They all seemed like large, muscular, heroic men to him. He noted they all had names like O’Grady, Callahan, McDermott and Fitzpatrick. As observant as a child as he is today, he told his mother, much to her shock (and probably amusement), “I want to be a big Irish cop when I grow up.”

He’s all grown up now. He’s not very tall. He’s still Mexican. He is, however, a cop, and a damn good one at that. And he’s not complaining. “My mom told me she couldn’t help me on the first two, but that I could do the third one if I really wanted,” he says. "That sounded fine to me."

Knowing your limitations and the limitations of others in a matter of fact way can be healthy. It helps you accept differences in others. You might be able to do something that someone else can’t do. They might be able to do something you can’t. Sometimes that’s just how it is and it doesn’t make either of you better than the other.

That’s what I’m trying to teach my sons. They may run into physical limitations, but their imagination has no limits. If they can dream it, they can at least give it a shot.

Can you build a robot to clean your room? Sure.

Can you run out into traffic? No.

Is Billy a freak because he can't eat cheese? No.

Can you cure cancer? I’ll bet you can if you want to.

Can you live a lifetime full of adventure? Absolutely, provided it doesn’t involve breaking your neck, my computer, or the neighbor’s car windows. Have at it.

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