More NFL Picks From My Ivory Tower

More NFL playoff action this weekend. I will outline my picks below. Keep in mind, I am not trying to correctly predict the winner of each game. No, the service I provide is greater than that. I am providing you with a moral compass by which to guide you support for the teams this weekend. I take the moral high ground (something I'm surprisingly good at, I've found) and tell you which teams you ought to root for because it's the right thing to do.

So without further ado, to the match-ups!

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers Today, 3:30PM CST on CBS

Ben Roethlisberger has been accused more often than I prefer of sexual assault. That's not cool. But, as I mentioned last week, Ray Lewis was involved in a murder. Did you get that everyone? A MURDER! Somebody died and Ray Lewis got off in exchange for his testimony against the other guys involved.

Moral High Ground Pick: Steelers

Green Bay Packers @ Atlanta Falcons Today, 7:00PM CST on Fox

This one is easy. The Atlanta Falcons have not won a title in...ever. They have that whole thing going for them. Then there is the fact that they let Michael Vick go after his arrest (not a hard decision, but whatever, go with it). But above all this, there is but one fact that remains that makes the entire difference. The Packers are evil. Only one thing can happen this weekend that would be morally greater than a Packers loss, and we'll get to what that is next.

Moral High Ground Pick: Falcons

Seattle Seahawks @ Chicago Bears Sunday, 12:00 Noon CST on Fox

The Seahawks have no business being in the hallowed NFL postseason, let alone still being alive. It has also become quite obvious that God wants the Chicago Bears to win based on their continual good fortune in facing injury decimated teams, third string quarterbacks and now sub-.500 teams in the playoffs. But God's will aside, I want the Bears to win. So I say it and so it shall be.

Moral High Ground Pick: Bears

New York Jets @ New England Patriots Sunday, 3:30PM CST on CBS

Trash talking has been going on back and forth all week. It seems to have been initiated by the Jets and their coach, Rex Ryan and his big mouth. However, the Patriots have been at the top for far too long. They are beginning to resemble the Yankees of the NFL. Plus, Bill Belichick is a cheater and nobody likes cheaters.

Moral High Ground Pick: Jets

So there you have it, picks that you can live with yourself after. Let's hope they all come true and the universe gets a little closer to peace and nirvana.