Saturday, January 8, 2011

The View of the NFL Playoffs From My Soapbox

The NFL Playoffs begin today and I could not be more excited. I suppose I could but that excitement would require more sleep. The six year old puking in my hallway at 4 AM messed up my circadian rhythm.

If you like football as much as I do, I'm sure you're checking in here to receive the Transformer Generation Dad playoff picks. Fear not. I shall oblige.

Before I do, allow me to turn back the clock. On August 30th, 2010 I posted a top five list with my weekly features that detailed my picks for potential Superbowl winners this season. You can view the post here. I will now accept any virtual handshakes and/or pats on the back for having selected five out of the twelve teams that have made the playoffs. Huzzahs, bravos and bully for you-s are also acceptable.

Having soaked up enough glory for now, I will move on to my picks for this weekend's wild card round. However, before doing so, I must alert you to the manner in which I will select my predicted winning teams. I haven't studied pages upon of stats. I have not attempted to determine trends based on weather conditions, time of kickoff or any other aspect of football minutia. The lone criteria I have used in making my predictions is the moral high ground. I have looked at the match ups and decided which team should win based not on talent or momentum, but based on the fact that they are on the side of good while the other team is on the side of evil (or at least because they are less evil than the other team they are playing).

So, on with it:

New Orleans Saints @ Seattle Seahawks Today 3:30PM CST on NBC
The New Orleans Saints won last year as the moral high ground selection. They were helping to raise up a city that dealt with disaster and simultaneously beat the team that beat my beloved Bears in the Superbowl a few years prior. Normally, the moral high ground would slant me away from the greed of repeating as champions and cause me to pick the underdog. This particular underdog, however, has no business being in the playoffs. The 7-9 Seahawks hosting a playoff game are an anomaly which must be destroyed. It is a disgrace to the majestic NFL playoff system.
TGD Moral High Ground Pick: Saints

New York Jets @ Indianapolis Colts Today 7:00PM CST on NBC
Rex Ryan swears too much and has a weird thing going on with feet. Revis greedily held out through training camp for more money. Yet, as I mentioned in my write up of the early game, the Colts beat the Bears in the Superbowl. Their Superbowl loss to the Saints last year has marked only the beginning of their penance for doing so. I hold a grudge for a very long time when it comes to Bears playoff defeats. Just ask the Washington Redskins.
TGD Moral High Ground Pick: J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!

Baltimore Ravens @ Kansas City Chiefs Sunday 12:00PM CST on CBS
While I admit that Ray Lewis is one of the best linebackers ever, he still was part of a murder. Did everyone forget about that? I'm no fan of Mike Vick's dogfighting ring, but in the case of Ray Lewis, a person died. Not a pet, a person.
TGD Moral High Ground Pick: Chiefs

Green Bay Packers @ Philadelphia Eagles Sunday 3:30PM CST on FOX
Both of these teams are evil. Alas, life is about choosing the lesser of two evils sometimes. There is no greater evil in the NFL than the Green Bay Packers, though the Minnesota Vikings have tried their best. But while I will root for you this week, Philadelphia, your day of reckoning for treating Donovan McNabb so poorly is coming. There isn't another team in the NFC that I would like to see you beat. Enjoy the moral high ground for the short time you have it.
TGD Moral High Ground Pick: Eagles

And that's it for this week. Hopefully, good will triumph and evil will fall in each of these games. And hopefully you are rooting for the same teams I am, otherwise I suggest some in-depth soul searching on your part. You've got issues.

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