Sunday, March 13, 2011

A Wee Spot O' Weekly Features

If you haven't celebrated St. Patrick's Day already, you will probably be celebrating on the 17th, so Happy St. Patrick's Day. If you aren;t celebrating it at all then I want to know what your problem is that you would not take advantage of a free excuse to drink.

This week's top 5 is St. Patrick's Day libations:

5. Black & Tan - Although this isn't a drink that is popular in Ireland, it does give you the opportunity to combine two Irish beers with Guinness and either Harp or Bass. Plus, it tastes good.

4. Bailey's Irish Cream - Smooth as silk although I still wonder how cream and alcohol can be combined in a manner safe for commercial distribution.

3. Bailey's Irish Coffee - Even better than straight Bailey's is having some in coffee. Perfect hot drink to have in that travel mug while you sit in the cold watching that St. Paddy's Day parade.

2. Jameson Irish Whiskey - My favorite whiskey and they have some damn clever commercials on lately to boot.

1. Guinness - No words. Just pour one, watch the cascading bubbles and enjoy. Also, healthy for you.

This week's cool ass thing you will never own is Lobot. Think of how easy syncing all you computers and electronic devices would be with your own cyborg sentry to run your network. Also, when you need to pull off a double-cross on a Sith Lord and his lackeys from the Empire, you need someone who is both loyal and great with computers.

This week's sign you are a nerd is that you own the entire catalog of John Williams' music. You also probably categorize them on your ipod by mood so that you can dial up Leia's Theme when you feel like relaxing and then jump to the theme for raiders of the Lost Ark when you need that pick me up. I am personally a big fan of The Asteroid Field.

This week's nemesis is Daylight Savings Time. I love it when the clock falls back and I get that extra hour of sleep, but when it jumps right from 2AM to 3AM I want to take my alarm clock and smash it into a thousand pieces, which I will then burn in effigy on my grill during the last hour of sunlight, middle fingers raised to the setting sun. I admire the ingenuity behind the idea, but I'll take my extra sunlight when the rotation of the Earth decides to provide me with it, thank you very much.

This week's lesson learned is not to leave a soccer ball indoors in a room with several kids unless you don't mind something in said room being broken.

This week's equation came to me when reflecting on how much I would pay for a beer in a certain situation, when I was faced with having none as told of in a recent post:

The true value of a pint of beer (V) can be calculated by taking the number of friends you are with (n) and raising that to the power of hours spent at work that day (t) then dividing that product by the product of you proximity in miles of a decent barbecue (b, a value no lower than 1), you proximity in miles to a sporting event (s, a value no lower than 1) and the actual price of the beer (p). You may wonder what happens when the price you ay for the beer is zero. the answer is that this is an invalid equation because the true value of a free beer is obviously immeasurable by mathematics.

Finally, this week's Star Wars quote is Han Solo's expression of how he felt after being tortured and may reflect how you feel after you St, Patrick's celebrations: "I feel terrible."

That's all for this week. thanks for reading. Tell the others.

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