Friday, March 25, 2011

Who Told Who So?

Have you ever randomly done something correctly then took full credit for your lucky guess as if it was the result of months of diligent research? Well that's exactly what I am about to do so brace yourselves.

I didn't waste everybody's time posting my entire NCAA Man's Tournament bracket. I didn't do this because almost every bracket looks like swiss cheese after the first two rounds. Instead I stuck with what I felt people would be most interested in. I got to the heart of the matter. I shared my Final Four predictions. Admittedly, even they look like swiss cheese already.

However, the true value of the bracket selection advice that I offered you all against your collective will came when I explained to you the details of my own flawed selection process. If you remember correctly, I spent a good portion of my post detailing the strength of the number one seeds. If you look back on that explanation, you will see the genius I now appear to be glowing softly before you on your screen.

Who did I predict would be the first number one seed to fall? Pittsburgh. Which number one seed was the first to be knocked out of the tournament? Pittsburgh. You're welcome.

And which team was it again that I predicted would be the second number one seed to fall despite seeming like such a strong team? I believe it was Ohio State. Wait, let me check...yep, it was. And who just lost to Kentucky less than an hour ago? Ohio State. Ha!

What does this mean exactly? It means that all those so called experienced analysts who actually watched college basketball for the entire season and picked these two teams more than any others with regularity to make it to the Final Four can eat it. That's what it means.

And what lesson can you, loyal reader, take away from this? First, you should have learned by now to trust the vague advice I give, but not the specific advice. I'm much more accurate when I'm deliberately unspecific. (What?!) Second, you now should realize that I am notoriously proud of that which I did very little to achieve and will make sure that I let you know when I shockingly get something right.

Let's see, I need to keep things vague then act afterwards like I knew exactly what was going to happen. I think I can perfect this technique over time. I think I may see a future for me in fortune telling. But as for my immediate future, I see a lot of chest puffing and chin raising in my life.


  1. I believe you "predicted" that Duke would be the final #1 seed to be knocked out, right? Better check that, unpuff that chest, and slow your roll Bro.

  2. I was sort of hoping that nobody would call me on that, but thanks for bursting my bubble.

  3. And to be totally honest, I wrote that post without having realized that Duke had already lost. There goes my journalistic integrity.